(written in 2009)
Recently I joined the thousands of other Americans and lost my job. It was at the height of the market crisis. I work in financial services and I’m in marketing. This experience is not new to me. I became a marketer for many reasons. One of the reasons, toward the bottom of the list, was job stability. I have come to realize this isn’t the case. Marketing is a cost center and when times are tough, companies have to save money.
There isn’t a correct answer for what to do when you are out of work. People
handle it in different ways. Some go back to school while others change career
paths. The first thing I did was to rebuild my network of friends I’ve developed
over the years. That meant telling all of them I’ve lost my job. This can be slightly humiliating if not humbling.
So much of who we are as New Yorkers is tied up in what we do for a living. It
costs a lot to live in New York and our jobs support our lifestyle. When you aren’t working it gives you time to think about who you are, where you are in life and all of those other annoying questions you don’t have time to ponder at your desk in the middle of a million things. Telling people you haven’t spoken to in months or years that you no longer have a job makes you feel less successful. Like you aren’t part ofmainstream society.
When you meet people and they ask, “What do you for a living?”
“Marketing,” I respond.
The next question is usually, “Where do you work?”
Now here’s where the uncertainty crops into my brain. What should I say? I’m out of work? I’m seeking new opportunities? I’m at a loss as to what I should do next? I’m thinking of running away from all of it and becoming a full time writer? You have to weigh the importance of finding work without sounding needy, sad or crazy. I tend to stick with, “I got laid off recently. Now I’m consulting but still looking for full time work.”
Then there is the process of rewriting your resume which you haven’t updated
since the last time you were looking for a job. How do you convey all that you did atyour last job? How do you show who you really are in a list of job functions? How do you make your resume unique enough to stand out from the hundreds or even thousands of resumes people are seeing these days?
I took the time and read through every version of my resume. With each new job added I saw a person who has accomplished many things in her career. I felt proud of the work I achieved for each of the companies I worked for. My resume became an alter-ego. The person I hope I am. In this way I hope to strive for the best possible job. I hope to become that person.
And, what if in the end, you actually enjoy not working? What if you find a certain solace in not having to go to an office every day? It feels like a guilty pleasure I can’t tell anyone about. I’m are sure if they find out I’m enjoying my time off they will think less of me.Friends and family will start to ask, “How can you possibly find enough to do all day,” or “How can you be busy,” and my favorite “What time did you get up?”
“Seriously,” they look at you and say, “it’s not like you have a real job or anything.”
Of course I want to work but I have thoroughly enjoyed not working too. After all I have spent the last 20 years going to work. Diligently and successfully completing projects and tasks for my employers. Adding amazing abilities to that now updated and polished resume. I’m a good employee. I show up, do the best I can, and love the companies I’ve worked for.
But just this once I’m relishing not working. I feel like a child on summer break. Sleeping in, taking naps and doing whatever I feel like doing. No responsibilities, no pressure except when I wake up in the middle of the night and worry about paying my bills. I just lull myself to sleep saying it will work out. It always does.
“Enjoy yourself,” I silently say, “This once.”
